hi! do you have a minute for __________?

i don't know about other cities, but i know that if you live in New York, then you've definitely heard this intro.

meet the clipboard activists.

you're walking down the street minding your business. maybe it's a good day, maybe a bad day. but you basically just want to be left alone. unless it's somebody reasonably attractive or a celebrity, you don't want to be bothered.

but ohhh, how they care not.

you'll see them, wearing their organization's t-shirt, with a messenger bag strapped across their body. sometimes they're holding a clipboard, other times they're not. but they're looking to trap you. draw you in. or just plain pester you.

as you attempt to walk by/ slide past unnoticed:

"hi! do you have a minute for gay rights/children/the environment?!"

if you say no, you come off like a heartless devil-child. if you say yes, then you have been conquered.

personally, i try to say nothing at all. give a hint of smile and keep it moving.

but some of them follow you.

you'll give your nothing smile and dismissive nod, and somehow, they take that as an invitation to pursue you down the street.

one time, i clearly was not trying to talk to anyone, just coming back from lunch, sipping a frappucino, on my way back to work. but dude would not let me live. he walked side by side like we were cool, or better yet, like we even knew each other.

he was working for children's international. so he did his whole spiel about starving kids and how i could save them [that sounds mean. i don't want kids to starve. but i don't want to be badgered into donating either. what a conundrum]. and at the end, he asked me to donate. of course, i said something like, "i don't know, i'm not sure. do you have anything i could read and get back to you later?"

and they never do.

it's like they want your money right then, or not ever. i find that a bit counterproductive and contradictory. but that's just me.

so then he said something like what is there to think about? don't you care? you could help right now! but i'm not the one to just volunteer credit card info on the whim, on the streets, even if for a good cause. when he realized he would get nothing from me, he said ok, thanks, have a nice day. but he gave me a look that distinctly said, "you will burn in hell for this, and i will be carrying the clipboard, on which i will check 'extra fire.' "

oh well. "i'm not looking at you dudes, i'm looking past you." so true.