the graduate[d].

i've finally graduated college and now, i think i'm the most conflicted i've ever been. no one ever tells you (actually they do, but you just ignore) that graduation is really life-changing. like really. one day i'm in yankee stadium listening to Sec. Hillary speak, and the next day i'm in Ohio, rolling my eyes as my mother tells me to clean my room.

graduation is like twilight zone. you feel so grown up and on the verge, but also totally clueless. maybe if i had gotten my shit together earlier i would be less frazzled and anxious, and admittedly bitter, but i didn't, and so here i am. what to do. what to do?

i want to work and make money, of course. money creates, and that's Bible (borrowed guiltlessly from the Kardashians). i need to be in New York. i need certain people. i love my family and this city to death, but this is not for me right now. William, we've got to get out of here! really.

i think of graduation, and i'm infinitely proud. i mean, i did it. even with the bullshitting and questionable decisions, i've got that college degree to keep me warm now. 22 and college-graduated is so real.

and i'm grateful as i look back because senior year was so real. being on that elite shit was a good look. from dancing in the auction, to a crazy bananas March, a crazier April (wow) and May. eternally grateful for the beautiful people i know and the city as the perfect backdrop. i couldn't make it up. it was the last year, but i had my share of breakthrough moments, hand me the award.

so to end this slightly pointless, but most cathartic rant, i still have no idea of what's next. i'm looking and searching, being open-minded, but hoping for the ideal. trying to get inspired to be next-level, trying not to waste my blessings, trying to make sure my life is the one i want. remember, i just gotta make it.

09, swag out.